Nest in Me - On Being A Selfish Mama


Being pregnant and having a child has been quite a practice of self sacrifice. I know that I'm only at the beginning of motherhood, but since the beginning of pregnancy I have known that my body has a totally different function. It was clear that my body and my heart were not my own anymore. 

I had an incredibly relaxed pregnancy. Which I am sooo grateful for. I was able to get tons of rest and send all kinds of positive vibes my baby's way. I was able to visit family in the US, I spent 5 weeks living in the van in Scandinavia, I went for an artist residency in Berlin for a month, and was coddled by family for 4 weeks before the little babe joined us. 

Pregnancy and all the bodily changes are not fun. The nausea, aches, itches, fears, and weight was tough to deal with at times. All the advice and input that you get was sometimes hard not to be annoyed by. But what was occurring in my body, the baby's growth was just amazing! I loved that my body and the baby did all the work. All I had to do was take care of myself, eat, drink, and sleep. 

Before this little baby joined us, people kept saying, "enjoy life now before the baby comes." They'd say this as if life were going to end when the baby comes. "Be ready to put your dreams and desires on the back-burner." It was tough not to take it personally and for me to feel like they thought I wasn't aware that life would change with a child. I know they just meant that I should cherish the times then, without a baby, and that I needed to prepare and be ready to sacrifice myself. This was frustrating to hear because, I knew that I would happily and naturally put myself and my desires to the side.

I knew that when I would have my baby, I wouldn't need to be reminded or encouraged to put myself to the side. I would actually need more encouragement not to forget myself and to make time for me and what keeps me healthy and happy. 

Since our little babe has arrived I have been so happy to feed him and care for him. I am happy to put my needs to the side and love on him all the time. Dominik has been encouraging to me to take time for me. He insists and encourages me to make art and blog, taking little Vigo for a number of hours during the day (with nursing breaks of course) to give me time to write my morning pages and make. 

As a mama, I naturally will put my child's needs before mine. But I know that I will be a much happier mama for Vigo if I take care of myself first. If my needs aren't taken care of, I can't be a happy and healthy mama. It's important for me to remember to put the oxygen mask on me first and then put it on my child. 

Any other selfish mamas and papas out there? How can you prioritize yourself and your kids, oh not to mention your partner? friends? 

Thanks for reading lovelies.


1 comment

  1. Hi Anna, I think by finding time for yourself and doing the things that keep you mentally, physically, and creatively happy are good for your boy anyway. It doesn't mean you are selfish; it means you are setting a good example of how to live a balanced and fulfilling life. Enjoy this new chapter.
    Helen x


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